can't say that.

There are many things that kids can't say.
They can't say cuss words. They can't say rude words. The list goes on and on and on.

There are many things they can't do.
They can't play.  They can't throw things.  They can't get out of their seats.

It's hard because as a teacher I begin to realize how much our kids can't do.  Really and truly, school can be a restrictive place.  Granted, a lot of things they can't do are either inappropriate, rude, or just straight up disrespectful - so they shouldn't even be trying to do them in the first place.  But, it's a lot of "no's"- no matter what you try and do and no matter how progressive a teacher is.

One thing that I have started doing is telling the kids that "you can't say 'you can't play."  This simply means that when we're playing games; either in the gym, on the playground, or in the classroom - you cannot tell another student that they can't play with you.
The kids whine a lot about this rule - but as I found out today, it's INCREDIBLY effective.

I have a student, lets call him Frank.  Frank is really socially awkward. The kids constantly tease him and pick on him - and a lot of times he does bring it on himself (though bullying is never acceptable)  We work really hard as a staff to find ways to make Frank's life easier, because the other kids can make it pretty difficult.
Don't get me wrong, he's a great kid.  He just prefers talking to teachers instead of his peers (which I would too, if kids were that mean to me all the time.) He prefers computers to people, etc. etc.  He clearly stands out (which I kind of love him for.)

It's a constant battle in the classroom, trying to catch all of the bullying that goes on.  Trying to ensure that Frank is safe and happy.
When we go out to recess, Frank won't play with the kids- he'll talk to teachers or just wander about by himself.

Because of all the state testing stuff going on, we had an extra recess today.  Frank was talking to me about computers (he was mislead into believing I know anything about them, since I used to be his computer teacher.)  We talked about hard drives and cd-roms and the internet.  He told me about his blog and the radio station he helps out at (which I've heard about many, many times) and a lot of other things that are interesting to this socially awkward 5th grader.
Finally I had to say "Frank, go play."

He looked at me sadly and just  away, knowing that the kids wouldn't let him play.
I had JUST reminded a student of our rule "you can't say you can't play."  I was hoping Frank would remember this.
So, he timidly goes up to a student and says "can I play?"

The student pauses.  Gives me a quick sideways glance and realizes that I'm watching.  He says "well. fine"
All the kids stop.  They all stare.
Well, that's an overstatement.  But, naturally Frank would pick the toughest kid of the bunch so it was a pretty big shock that Frank was allowed to play.  Thankfully, I was within hearing distance of the conversation so the student realized that he had to let him play.

I suddenly became worried that Frank would be "allowed to play", but in actuality wouldn't be.  Kids can be mean like that.
Within 2 minutes he's running, laughing, taunting, and yelling like the rest of the kids.  Kids were grabbing him and trying to get him to run with them to get out of harms way.  They were laughing and playing.
No one was teasing or bullying.

At one point a student said that he had tagged Frank, which I saw that he clearly did not.  Another student (who is actually one of Frank's biggest enemies in the class) stood up for Frank, simply said "no you didn't" and grabbed frank and devised a get away plan.
It was one of my proudest moments as a teacher.

Screw test scores.  Screw all of that.  If nothing else, I want my kids to learn how to be human beings.  How to function in society.
Even if it was just a small moment, this small moment showed how important play is.  That kids learn to get along when they play - they learn to see past the awkardness of 5th grade and just embrace on another and play.

I couldn't help but wonder about the fact that maybe if we let our kids play more - they would be more open to one another.  That if we let them play more, they might begin to see that we're all just people, yes we're different - but in the end we all just don't want to be the person who's "it" at the end of the game.

Maybe I'm being too simplistic - wouldn't be the first time.  But, I have to believe that when kids are given the chance to play together, they are given the chance to become friends.  Yes, group projects are great.  But kids are so different when they play.  And when I say play, I don't mean educational games.  I mean those real opportunities to let loose and be kids.

Regardless, this was a big moment in our class.  It's moments like this that get you through the moments that are awful.  And it's moments like this that remind us that behind the attitude, behind the test scores, and behind that devilish grin; there is still a young child who just wants to play.